


Eulogy

by AtThePleasureOfThePundit



Category: Pod Save America (RPF)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Relationship only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 08:53:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14161221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtThePleasureOfThePundit/pseuds/AtThePleasureOfThePundit
Summary: “So?” Favs said, folding the piece of notebook paper over, “What do you think?”Tommy looked up at Favs from the couch. Favs was clearly nervous about this, Tommy could tell by the line of his shoulders, and the way he couldn’t hold himself still.“It sucks.” He said simply.__Favs has an important speech to write and it's going poorly.





	Eulogy

**Author's Note:**

> hey, yeah, this idea wouldn't leave me alone...  
> (for anyone worried about the warnings on this fic, no onscreen death happens)

“So?” Favs said, folding the piece of notebook paper over, “What do you think?”

Tommy looked up at Favs from the couch. Favs was clearly nervous about this. Tommy could tell by the line of his shoulders, and the way he couldn’t hold himself still. 

“It sucks.” He said simply. Favs crumpled. 

“I know.” Favs said, glancing over the paper again, “I know, it’s- it’s awful, it’s clunky and there’s too much description and its got no-” Tommy saw Favs’s adam’s apple bob as he tried to swallow his emotion. “It doesn’t have any heart in it and I don’t- I don’t know how to do this, Tommy.” 

Tommy watched as Favs’s hands clutched the paper, nearly ripping it. 

“I-I stayed up all night writing it and rewriting it, and I, fuck, I googled how to write one of these, but all of the tips were things I already knew, and-” Favs’s shoulders were shaking, “and this has to be the best speech of my life, he deserves that and I’m gonna let him down.” 

Tommy stood up from the couch and walked over to Favs, pulling him into a hug. 

“Hey,” he said softly, “Hey, it’s alright… You’ll get it. I know you will.” 

Favs collapsed against him, burying his face in Tommy’s neck. 

The past couple of days had been exceptionally difficult. They’d been staying in Lovett’s place with Ronan, trying to make sure he was alright until his mother was able to fly in. The fridge was full of casseroles and tupperwares of home-cooked food, but it was hard to get him to eat anything. Hell, it was hard for Tommy to stomach it himself. 

Soon the place would be full of people; Lovett’s parents, out of town cousins, Alyssa, Dan, people who Lovett loved. There would be a service at the house, because Lovett wanted to be cremated not buried, and there would be a reception out back, so that everyone could talk about Lovett’s life. It was all planned out the way Lovett wanted it, and Tommy knew because Lovett had planned it himself. It had been organized months ago, right after Lovett had made the move from his home to the hospital. 

“Ronan shouldn’t have to plan it alone,” He’d said once to Tommy when asked, “This is going to be hard on him and… and I want to do everything to make it easier for him.” 

Tommy had jokingly got him a “Husband of the Year” mug the next day. Lovett had laughed, but insisted the hospital staff use it whenever he wanted tea. 

“I just-” Favs’s voice jolted Tommy out of his thoughts, “Every time I had trouble writing a speech I would- I would ask Jon, but I can’t and he’s-” 

“Shhhh,” Tommy whispered, tucking Favs under his chin, “It’s alright, I know, this… this is hard.” His throat grew tight. “This is awful, and it’s going to be awful for a while and- and we just have to keep pushing through until it’s-... He would want us to.” 

Favs was still shaking a little, and Tommy could tell he was trying not to cry. Tommy didn’t blame him. It felt like he’d cried more in the past week than he had in years. Everything reminded him of Lovett. Their lives were so entwined in each other it was impossible to do anything, to go anywhere without the great void in their lives swelling up and choking tears out of all of them. 

“He would,” Favs said miserably, “But he also wanted me to write this, and I-I don’t know if I can, Tommy.”

Favs stepped back and unfolded his crumpled eulogy. Tommy took it out of his hands gently. 

“Maybe, instead of talking about everything he did,” He said softly, “try… try talking about him. About how we felt about him, about the things that made us love him. Talk about the way he made you laugh, and how he was the perfect person to bounce ideas off of, and how he was never sure about anything until he asked both of us, and how he always took joke just a little too far because he couldn’t resist making us laugh, and how he loved Ronan, how even at the end he only cared about how it was going to hurt him, and how- how he was our best friend, fuck, the best friend I ever had and-” Tommy couldn’t continue.

His body shook with the force of his sobs as everything he couldn’t say poured out of him in waves. It felt like the first few nights after Lovett moved away. A strange empty space nearby in everything he did. A horrible absence in their lives, in their plans, in the world he thought he’d grow old to. 

Favs took his face in his hands, and brushed away Tommy’s tears with his thumbs. They stayed that way a long moment before Tommy could compose himself again. 

“Could… Could you help me?” Favs said, quietly, “Please? It’ll be better if you… if you’re a part of it.”

“Yeah,” Tommy rasped, “Yeah I’d like that, Jon.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me at handsomeobamaintherain dot tumblr dot com!


End file.
